One thing that isn’t often spoken about is how hard it is for men to approach women with romantic intent. It’s actually one of the hardest things we ever have to do and that’s the reason why the vast majority of us only ever do it while drunk and specially defined scenarios like a bar or a club. Well I don’t want to be that way anymore and have decided to get over this fear once and for all so to that end I’ll be approaching 2 women every day for 50 days and writing about what happens.
And just so we’re clear; this isn’t about ‘getting laid’; it’s about breaking through my personal limitations and learning to become a much stronger man. When a guy approaches a girl he doesn’t know, every one of his insecurities are shoved right into his face in technicolour HD and it’s in that moment that he really finds out what he’s made of.
It’s time to find out what I’m made of. Let’s do this.
See the whole challenge here.
Day 26 – woman number 1 – Laura
Hey guys. There’s only going to be one woman in today’s update, and that’s for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I’m incredibly busy and don’t have a lot of spare time; and secondly, a random wave of fear has gripped my heart. Fear that had me walk by at least 6 women I wanted to talk to but approach none.
I’m not sure what happened to be honest. I just didn’t feel confident today. If I had more free time I’d have walked the streets until I damn well summoned the courage but alas I don’t so I didn’t. Anyway, today’s lady, a French woman named Laura, was someone I met as I was heading into Starbucks to write a post apologising for being such a coward. She was stood outside listening to music and I did a double take as I saw her on my way in. Seconds later, I was headed her way to let her know I thought she looked amazing:
HER: Thank you, thank you very much!
ME: Not a problem!
HER: What’s your name?
ME: Ciaran, you?
ME: So what are you doing right now?
HER: I’m studying.
ME: Fancy a flirt?
HER: We can talk, but you should know that I’m taken.
ME: You’re taken?
ME: So you’re spoken for?
HER: What is spoken for?
ME: It means that you’re taken!
HER: Ah, then yes, I am spoken for!
Laura’s been in the UK for 2 years, is studying business finance, DJs on the weekend, and is a huge fan of conspiracy theories. We chatted for about 15 minutes, shot the video you can see below, and then carried on about our days.
Woman number 2 – Eva
Ignore everything I wrote at the start of today’s post because I’ve literally just met another woman. She’s a Californian girl of Vietnamese origins who sat opposite me at my table and I ended up introducing myself to. She was extremely flattered by my compliment and needless to say, the two of us got to talking. Now as I write these words, we’re still chatting/working and I currently have no idea how it’ll pan out. But like I said before; I’m on a strict deadline today so I can’t delay writing this post any longer. It needs to go up now, God dammit!
So there’s two things I’m taking from today. Number one is that there’s a damn good chance that the fear of doing random cold approaches will never go away. I’ve been at this for a while now so you’d think I’d be over the nerves, but apparently not. In fact, I was hit with a surge of deathly trepidation from outta nowhere. I guess this might get easier and easier to do but maybe it’ll never be truly ‘easy’. In any event, I have read that fear never truly dissipates but only mutates and changes form so I guess this is proving that to be true.
Number 2 is that it’s never over till the fat lady sings. I totally resigned myself to writing about having done no approaches today but now I’ve ended up fulfilling my quota. I thought about giving up, I thought about bitching out, I thought about yielding and to my fear but I didn’t and now I have day number 26 officially in the books.