Hello humans. je m’appelle Ciaran Callam and I’m a sugar addict. For as far back as I can remember I’ve been literally, irrefutably and undeniably addicted to the sweet tasting white poison we all love to cram into our food. I can’t bear to think about how much money I’ve spent on candy, chocolates, and other forms of junk throughout my life because I know it’s a figure that would horrify me to see written on paper. You see; I’ve spent countless hours gorging my face on delicious carcinogens and while I’ve got to admit that these form some of the happiest memories of my life, the fact remains that I am addicted and that something desperately needs to change. I’ve done a lot of research into the harms of sugar and now that I know just how toxic it is to my health, I can’t justify putting it into my body anymore. There’s also the fact that I’ve been feeling the negative effects of having sugar in my diet for a few years now.  Whenever I eat sugary things, my thoughts and memory get hazy as all hell, my hayfever kicks into 5th gear, I feel physically sick and my vision actually deteriorates. Tis time for a change; so for the next 30 days I’m going cold turkey to once and for all beat my lifelong sugar addiction.

Wish a brother luck!

Day number 6

If there’s ever a terrible time of the year to quit sugar it’s Christmas Day and I’m about as miserable as miserable can be. I look around to see naught but shiny happy people holding hands, eating cake, drinking beer and guzzling ice cream while I’m sat here like the proverbial Scrooge McGrinch.

If I lived in a country with legal firearm possession this situation would either get very interesting or very tragic indeed, depending on your perspective.

I’m not happy. I’m really not. I just want to eat something delicious but everything my heart desires is out of bounds. My mom makes these delicious mince pies every Christmas and they’re the highlight of the festive period for yours truly. I literally spend 12 months of every year looking forward to eating them, but this year they’re like the forbidden fruit. Ordinarily I’d be knee deep in soft pastry, dried fruit and icing powder; but this year I’m having to exert self control while wondering just why the fuck I did this to myself. I have had a reasonable amount of vodka though. I read somewhere on Google that vodka’s got no sugar in it and even though it kinda does feel like I’m cheating, fuck it. This isn’t an alcohol free challenge so a few shots here and there to keep my ‘spirits’ up won’t kill me.

Let’s just hope I don’t trade a sugar addiction for an alcohol one, eh!

In any event; it’s hard work being alone in a house full of people who don’t understand what you’re doing and would like nothing more than for you to cave to your urges and gorge, but I guess it does build character. I can see their point though, because I’m not exactly a fun and swell guy to be around right now. If I had to deal with me today, I’d want me to have some sugar and cheer the fuck up too.

Like I said before; it’s a good job handguns aren’t legal in this country.