Hello humans. je m’appelle Ciaran Callam and I’m a sugar addict. For as far back as I can remember I’ve been literally, irrefutably and undeniably addicted to the sweet tasting white poison we all love to cram into our food. I can’t bear to think about how much money I’ve spent on candy, chocolates, and other forms of junk throughout my life because I know it’s a figure that would horrify me to see written on paper. You see; I’ve spent countless hours gorging my face on delicious carcinogens and while I’ve got to admit that these form some of the happiest memories of my life, the fact remains that I am addicted and that something desperately needs to change. I’ve done a lot of research into the harms of sugar and now that I know just how toxic it is to my health, I can’t justify putting it into my body anymore. There’s also the fact that I’ve been feeling the negative effects of having sugar in my diet for a few years now.  Whenever I eat sugary things, my thoughts and memory get hazy as all hell, my hayfever kicks into 5th gear, I feel physically sick and my vision actually deteriorates. Tis time for a change; so for the next 30 days I’m going cold turkey to once and for all beat my lifelong sugar addiction.

Wish a brother luck!

Day number 4

This no sugar stuff really sucks, you know? I can’t eat anything fun and not only is it making me miserable but it’s boring as hell. I went into a shop to get a wrap today and was seconds away from ordering the thing when I realised that there’s sugar in both the actual wrap itself and the sauce the meat comes in. Bloody hell man. Bloody, bloody, bloody hell. What’s also worse is that my brain’s all over the place, I just can’t focus on anything for long periods of time and it’s ruining my productivity. Whenever I sit down to work; my thoughts leap left, right, up, down, and to and fro like an Olympic gymnast. It’s like I’ve got a mild case of brain damage or something. Hell; I’m even messing up my words as I type. What’s more, I’ve got no energy whatsoever. I feel totally weak and depleted. If I’ve got any mortal enemies who are reading these words and have always wanted to destroy me for some reason, then trust me, now’s the time to strike.

I feel as weak as a newborn kitten.

But this is exactly why some scientists now want to classify sugar as a toxic drug. Seriously, how benign can a substance be if removing it from your diet sends you into withdrawal, makes you weak, confuses your brain and gives you monstrous cravings the likes of which the world has never seen?  On the plus side, my will power has held true and I’ve refrained from eating the deliciously poisonous treats that you can see in this picture, so that’s a good thing. I’ve been carrying these bad boys in my pocket for 4 days now so I’m very proud of myself. Ordinarily they wouldn’t have lasted 25 minutes so I definitely should acknowledge myself for that.

Anyway, that’s day number 4 in the books. Days 5 through 7 will feature yours truly encountering a sugar free Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Boxing Day. How truly exciting!

Ciao for now.