A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away there existed a race of sexually frustrated beings called women. Being hamstrung by dogmatic religions and cruelly oppressive social structures, women were made to believe that sexual pleasure of any kind was wicked and sinful and thus denied themselves on a daily basis the true multi-orgasmic joys of womanhood.
However, what society failed to see was that what is innately a part of oneself cannot be truly denied but only repressed and that such repression only brings about grave repercussions for said repressor.
With their innate sexual desires perpetually buried deep within their bodies, women were subjected to emotional torture as they constantly struggled to shoot back to the surface. Day after day, week after week and year after year they felt the burning heat of their inner nymphomaniacs push and pull with unrelenting power, bubbling, churning, swelling, pulsating and throbbing deep in their souls until their palms began to sweat, their vision blurred and they broke out into screaming fits which the people of the time named hysteria.
Hysteria became somewhat of an epidemic that swept across the land as wave after wave of women fell prey to its panic inducing embrace. The men of the time, wanting only what was best for their ‘mentally fragile’ feminine counterparts referred them to male doctors who in turn had the bright idea to treat these women with clitoral massages.
For the ill-informed among you, a clitoral massage is exactly what it sounds like, a massage of the clitoris performed by the male doctor onto his female patient. Now as you might be able to imagine, this ‘massage’ would cause the patient in question to moan, writhe, hyperventilate, sweat and ultimate explode in a burst of toe curling emotion known as a proxism. Once a woman had finally achieved her earth shattering proxism, the clarity would indeed return to her innately inferior feminine mind and she would then be free to walk the streets in relative female sanity until her hysteria eventually returned and she would need another massage.
Before I continue any further let me just say that I know exactly what you’re thinking. Clitoral massages? Moaning? Writhing? Sweating? A burst of toe-curling emotion followed by a sudden return to rationality? It all sounds very sexual doesn’t it? Well I totally agree and if I were a betting man I’d wager my life that those women were enjoying those massages far more than they ever let on.
However, unlike you or I, those who lived a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away were people of strong moral virtue. For this was a time in which men were men, women knew their place and anyone with half a brain knew that sex that didn’t consist of a woman laying spreadeagled on her back with a bored expression stamped across her face as her husband pounded away with irregular thrusts for exactly 25 seconds before pumping her with his man seed wasn’t sex at all.
Sex equaled vaginal penetration so with that in mind a clitoral massage was about as erotic as watching 7 back to back episodes of Barney the Dinosaur. However, life was indeed tough for the poor doctors of the day because the rampant epidemic of hysteria had them massaging the clitorises of random women from dawn until dusk, leaving no other time for them to indulge in important doctorly pursuits such as bloodletting or frenology. What’s more, no 2 women were the same and while it may have only taken 10 minutes for Martha Grant to achieve her beloved proxism, Phyliss Jenkins may take as long as over 45 minutes to get her freak on. And what about the other 5 women the doctor had booked in to see him that very same day? How long would they take? Scores and scores of medical practitioners were now suffering from painful cramps in their fingers and partial spasming in their tongues which as you can imagine, meant that professional morale was at an all time low.
Something needed to be done. A method needed to be devised to allow doctors to treat their growing numbers of female patients faster and more easily and when the greatest scientific minds put their heads together, the solution to that problem was the electric vibrator. Needless to say, dear reader, that once vibrators were introduced to doctors’ surgeries, they became an instant success, cutting the length of time needed for women to achieve their proxisms by as much as 90%. They were so successful that eventually the decision was made (possibly at each patient’s behest) to allow ladies to take vibrators home with them in order to ‘self medicate’ in private and ultimately free doctors from this most terrible of chores.
And this is exactly what happened.
Women went home and used their vibrators in private and the medical profession breathed a collective sigh of relief at having finally solved this perplexing problem. However; what people of the time failed to understand was that the ‘inferior and weak willed’ feminine brain would and could do no less than to take advantage of the medical tool to which it had been entrusted and set into action a chain of events that would threaten the very moral fabric of the society to which they belonged.
As legions of bewildered husbands found themselves coming home to see their beloved wives using their medical tools to pleasure themselves to mind melting peaks of screaming sexual ecstasy, society soon realised that these innocent devices were providing much more than just physical treatment. These filthy women weren’t just curing themselves of a mental affliction.
They were using vibrators to achieve levels of carnal delight that their husbands both couldn’t and wouldn’t provide and were in fact loving each and every second they spent doing so. Needless to say that the people of the time were appalled, disgusted, flabbergasted and dismayed. What once was a clinical instrument used solely for the treatment of a mentally ill individual was now seen as a filthy and sinful agent of Lucifer and every bit as inherently wicked as the vile hussy sluts who used it.
This meant that vibrators became synonymous with lustful debauchery, making them a social taboo and meaning that the miserable women who once used them without conscience were now forced to return to their lives of suicidal sexual dissatisfaction.
And so the sexual repression of women continued.